Life and Inferiority

I would not say that my life was so miserable for me as God has granted many things that I wished for so far. But sometimes, just once in a while, you can't resist feeling disappointed.

I realize that being appreciated is my life generator. I mean, that makes my life seems easier for me to pass through. Then, when I don't get that much in such period, seems like my life is empty and powerless.

Also, I always remember that life is like a Ferris Wheel, sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. Maybe this is my turn for being down.

I hate myself when this situation is considered as me not feeling grateful for everything that God has given. I do feel grateful. I thank God for many things. But I just can't deal with myself, with my brain, with my heart, why I can't be like others. I feel like a loser.

I don't know.
I think I missed something.

Small Thought about Apartment or Landed House?

Lately, after got married, I had discussion with my wife whether we should provide our future house with an apartment or landed house. Today, we live in a rented studio room, close to my office. Even though we have been discussing about it for many times, I still hesitate to decide. It's so never ending thought. Every choice has strengths and weaknesses. Hence my wife and I should take the right one.

To be honest, I prefer apartment to landed house. It is cheaper (although it is still not affordable for newly weds to be purchased anyway), usually located near city center and public transportation, and nowadays it offers mixed-use concept so the residents will easily get to catch up some groceries or run for errands only by few walks. I also like living in high rise building, seeing cityscape and viewing everything from top as if they are all toys.

Source: https://www.pinterest.com/explore/city-apartment-decor/

But, of course, its main weakness is it doesn't have land property right to the owners. For some reason, it also doesn't provide enough private room, so consequently the residents should share the facility for instance, garden, terrace, parking lot, etc. It is so-called you get what you pay for. As far as I know, also the property of apartment is unable to be owned for long term or it has limit until only few decades.

Meanwhile, landed houses even though come with very expensive price almost provide all the things every family needs such as land property, private room, private garden, carport, etc. In Indonesia, this option is always be the priority no matter what your financial ability is. If you don't have a lot of money, you can buy it at the remote area, far away from city center. I think that is why Jakarta always becomes bigger every year due to its uncontrolled sprawl. But again, it feels safe if we have land property because the price will always increase like crazy. For instance, this year you buy IDR 1 million per m sq, next year it possibly will become IDR 2-3 million per m sq, and in next 5 years you'll be a billioner. It will be more fantastic if the district near your house is being build by toll road, commuter train, and shopping mall. What a tantalizing investment, isn't it? The price of apartments is also being affected by city development though, but I think it is not as high as landed houses.

My recent discussion with my wife, she and I agree that for now with our current condition, our job, our plan, our need, we prefer to own a studio apartment in Jakarta rather than to push ourselves buying (remember, not by cash, should be credit) a landed house very far from the capital. In our next years, we will live and raise our children in an apartment. We dream to buy a landed house not in Greater Jakarta, maybe in Semarang, maybe in Rembang, we haven't known yet. That dream house will be our retirement shelter some day. Or maybe if someday I have more money, I will buy a land in Jakarta's periphery just for investment not for my family's home.

Regarding raising-children stuff, at one time, I have had a thought to conduct research about how children in apartment and vertical housing are being raised and the effect of their house to their growth. I am actually very sure, those children are raised as well as the ones who live in landed houses, but somehow I need a scientific evidence. Well, I hope living in apartment is not bad.

Indonesia in The Global Competition

I've just read about Global Competitiveness Report (GCR) 2016-2017 since last week and I think it is so interesting. My focus in every study about global ranking is always about Indonesia. Where is the position of Indonesia right now? How come that happens? How if Indonesia is compared with other countries in ASEAN? Hahahaha such a nerd actually.

But, I do that just as casual remark. I will read it fast in order to just improve my knowledge about my country in global competition. Sometimes yeah I read thoroughly when I intend to write scientific article for instance, but it's rare LOL.

Back to GCR 2016-2017, it's interesting to know that position of Indonesia drops to 41 from 37 in last year list. The reason behind this is not because Indonesia gets bad in performance, but some countries successfully boost their performance hence overtake position above Indonesia. It can be seen from Indonesia's overall score which is 4.52 from scale ranges 1-7, still the same with last year score which was 4.52 also. But if we look back to 5 years ago, Indonesia has leaped far from 50 position in 2012-2013 or up 9 positions. FYI in 2014-2015, Indonesia got the best position in history which was the 34 position.

Compared with other countries, I usually choose Malaysia and Thailand, sometimes Vietnam also. But in my preference, Msia and Thailand are the two countries in ASEAN which Indonesia should compete with zealously hahaha. I don't put Singapore as competitor because it's too far away better than Indonesia (currently it takes the second position ha ha ha). In 2016-2017, Malaysia is ranked for 25 position and Thailand 34. What a though competition. But I can say it again that Indonesia has leaped far, compared with Msia and Thailand. In 5 years, Msia's rank is stagnant (25 to 25 again) while Thailand only ups 4 levels (38 to 34). This is not the end though. Indonesia has a lot of resources and young generations which will help this nation goes to the highest level. Go, Indonesia!!

In other sections of GCR, surprisingly, I read that Indonesia is categorized as The Efficiency-driven Stage in stage of development (pg 37-38). Based on GCRs explanation, stage of development comprises 3 stages as follows:

• First stage: factor driven which means country relies on primarily unskilled labor and natural resources.
• Second stage: efficiency-driven stage when country begins to develop more-efficient production processes by improving high skilled and educated labor, be able to harness the benefits of existing technologies, and has vast market. 
• Third stage as the highest: innovation driven stage when country can compete with the most sophisticated production processes and also be innovating. 

It is surprising because I thought Indonesia was still positioned in first stage or at least transition stage from 1 to 2 ha ha ha.. I am sorry, Indonesia. I am so proud though, knowing that Indonesia is beyond my expectation. And also, India (yes, India!) which is predicted as the new power of Asia with China, is still categorized as first stage country. I can't believe my eyes honestly. Well done, Indonesia! I know you will be the great nation someday, very soon!

Indonesia is now world's emerging economy

From the report, I also find Indonesia is mentioned many times for its large economy (top 10 world's largest), its low price of commodities which undermines the growth in region (I don't really understand though, I will study it later lol), and tragically for its worst health outcomes. And again, still not changed for decades I think, Indonesia's 3 most problematic factors of doing business are corruption, inefficient government bureaucracy, and inadequate infrastructure supply. Nevertheless, the most important thing is that Indonesia is considered as emerging economy which affects a lot in region and also the world.

You can read the full report of GCR from this link. Please refer to that report for every citation you need about global competitiveness index. My post is just a casual review about this topic and not appropriate to be claimed as reference hahaha.

Being a Leader

I'm quite sure most people will think that being a leader is fantastic. You will be the top of organization, the chairman of society, and so on. You can rule everything and ask your subordinate to run for errand anytime you want. Moreover, being a leader in a corporation/enterprise means you will earn a wonderful number of money. Well, that thought is not false, but we, sometimes, forget the risk of being a leader.

I think a leader means someone who should take care of  talk and behavior, because leaders are always a cynosure in the organization. All subordinates and people, either inside or outside the office, will look at them, or even, take a big attention into them. Hence, leaders can't act as free as they want. They have to behave. One mistake means they will be untrusted anymore or at least their performance will be decreased among his subordinates.

It's different with the ordinary staffs or subordinates. One mistake doesn't mean something in long term. Cut the wage in specific rate and it's done. Unless, the mistake is severely fatal like stealing, corrupting, or murdering (okay, those are too much). When subordinates misspeak or tell something erroneous, it won't be remembered by anyone. It's just a small mistake and it will be gone soon.

The condition is very harmful when that is happened by leaders. Something, that they misspeak and unpredictably it turns out to hurt someone, will be remembered for a long time. Yeah, once again, because leaders are a cynosure, a lot of people rely on and trust to them, and as a top of structure, they should maintain the good relationship to everyone otherwise everyone will hate them because untrustworthy and considered annoying.

So, being a leader is not such a fun and not easy either. Realizing that many people rely on and trust to a leader is kind of discomfort thing.

Actually, I have a story with my leader that hurt me a lil bit. On that day, I was ordered by my director to go out town as outstation duty. But when I asked about my cost cover to my leader who manages budgeting affair, I fell to disappointment. I was shocked when my leader said that my trip hadn't be budgeted yet and suggested me to ask some money to my parents. I was totally speechless, deep in my heart seemed like I wanted to cry. In my age, asking me to ask money to my parents is so wicked. I really have no idea why my leader ever thought about that.

Well, later I realized that she had a lot of tasks and pursued by many target to be done soon. I can understand but, unfortunately, I can't forget that moment till now.

I don't mean to vilify her. No, I really don't. She is a good leader anyway and she does her job very well in organization. Nay, eventually my budget trip has been arranged already and she has coordinated to my director and my deputy about that (Thank you, Madam!). All I want to say is what a leader says is a prone thing. I believe my leader didn't want to tell that. She was drowned in a lot of job and maybe she didn't have much time to think mine. But, still, saying wrong words is not acceptable.

Or, maybe I was just too sensitive then.

Well...

But, I do agree that being a leader is a pride. Especially, when we as a leader can drive the people in the right way, can satisfy them well, and people always feel helped with our decision. That is an ultimate contentment of being a leader. Also, don't be naive, reward for being a leader is very magnificent.

My prophet Muhammad PBUH during his life always gave the example that being a leader is a mandate (amanah). It's not only about the position but also the responsibility to many people. It's a bless and burden at the same time. People trust to leaders and they never want to be disappointed at all.

However, someday I want to be a leader. I want to implement what I've learned and I've got in my work, spreading out my worthwhile influence to many people. Once again, being a leader is not easy, but it's one of many targets in our life that we should achieve. At least, being the leader in small family, lead my own wife and children. :)